Read the conclusion paragraph of an essay discussing the benefits of a year-round school schedule below. What revision must be made in order to make it an effective conclusion? Schools that move to a year-round schedule instead of a nine-month schedule have reaped the many benefits of this structure. First, students have time to rest throughout the year, helping them to feel refreshed and ready to learn. Furthermore, students do not have to spend as much time reviewing information that they would inevitably forget over the three-month summer vacation. Finally, short intervals of time off allow struggling students to receive extra tutoring throughout the learning process. Overall, the benefits of a year-round schedule can improve the learning experience for students.

Transitional words or phrases should be added at the beginning of each sentence to transition between ideas.

A sixth sentence should be added, as effective conclusions contain a minimum of six sentences.

A transitional word or phrase should be added at the beginning of the first sentence to transition from the body to the conclusion.

The word choice should be revised to convey an objective tone rather than a subjective one.