Support the thesis with historical evidence. Prompt:
In the period from 1200 to 1450 CE, trans-Saharan trade networks influenced state formation in West Africa.
Develop an argument that evaluates the extent to which the process of West African state formation was influenced by trans-Saharan trade.
Thesis:
Between 1200 and 1450 CE, trans-Saharan trade networks significantly supported the development of large states in West Africa. Opportunities for the taxation of trade and the control of trade goods generated wealth and resources to support the development of sophisticated government. Also, these networks encouraged the development of thriving urban centers, which increased the power and renown of states in the region.
Sample essay excerpt:
As trans-Saharan trade developed, empires in the region repeatedly taxed and controlled trade. For example, the historical record shows that the mansas of Mali directly controlled the trade of specific goods such as metals and horses, two goods that were crucial in establishing strong military forces. Mali’s mansas also taxed the trade of key goods such as salt and copper. Similarly, other empires in the region levied heavy taxes on merchants and used the funds to support the state. The control over the trade of gold by Ghana’s rulers enabled the funds to establish and sustain a large administrative bureaucracy.
Read the above prompt, thesis, and excerpt carefully. First, explain the requirements for providing evidence. Second, evaluate how well the excerpt uses evidence to support the thesis.

Evidence in the long essay needs to be relevant and accurate and support the thesis. This excerpt uses specific evidence to clearly support the thesis and stays relevant to the topic. The evidence does a good job of supporting the thesis.

Explanation:

Between 1200 and 1450 CE, trans-Saharan trade networks significantly supported the development of large states in West Africa. Opportunities for the taxation of trade and the control of trade goods generated wealth and resources to support the development of sophisticated government. Also, these networks encouraged the development of thriving urban centers, which increased the power and renown of states in the region. As trans-Saharan trade developed, empires in the region repeatedly taxed and controlled trade. For example, the historical record shows that the mansas of Mali directly controlled the trade of specific goods such as metals and horses, two goods that were crucial in establishing strong military forces. Mali’s mansas also taxed the trade of key goods such as salt and copper. Similarly, other empires in the region levied heavy taxes on merchants and used the funds to support the state. The control over the trade of gold by Ghana’s rulers enabled the funds to establish and sustain a large administrative bureaucracy. The effects of the development of trans-Saharan trade networks on West African states can be better understood by considering the earlier development of cities and states in the region. Due to the difficulty of raising livestock and growing crops in the hot Sahara, the economy of West Africa lagged behind that of North Africa until the growth of trade. Likewise, while a sophisticated civilization developed in the Niger Valley after 300 BCE, growing trade cities at the time were not joined into a larger empire. The ongoing development of trans-Saharan trade, however, provided the resources for economic and political change in the region.

Explanation:

"Edgenuity" 100%