Can someone please tell me if this sounds correct, make sense and if the gramma is accurate ​

OK so basically there are a few repetitions and tiny mistakes but it's okay I'll mark them right here :⬇️

Explanation:

à la parc is wrong ➡️ au parc

Sur de la musique is wrong ➡️à la musique

à la hotel is wrong ➡️à l'hôtel

- And instead of repeating amies in the same phrase u can switch it with ➡️eux

-and instead of saying joue 3 times u can say➡️on se divertit

ok so from je m'apple it should be mon nom

then from je suis age de turn it to mon âge

then from mon anniversaire tombe en turn it that one would be right but it doesn't really fall exactly, like it just says my birthday falls under, but i suppose u r right, but if u want it to be exact then it should be mon anniversaire

then i'm a bit confused on the last part, so first u said u like the rounge (idk) then it says, i like white violet, and my favorite subject is french

que nous soyons c est le verbe être conjuguées à l impératif avec le pronom nous