Read the rough draft of a student’s conclusion to an argumentative editorial. (1) year-round schooling would student achievement. (2) not so much information would have to be crammed into nine months. (3) furthermore, the elimination of long breaks, particularly summer break, would significantly reduce "learning loss” and the additional time wasted at the beginning of each academic year to reteach previously learned material. (4) it is clear that year-round schooling students learn and retain more. (5) the united states is not the only country to experiment with a year-round school schedule. (6) although many still claim that evidence about year-round school and its link to higher achievement is inconclusive, these people need to open their eyes and see that students in these schools consistently score higher on certain assessments than students who attend schools with traditional nine-month calendars. (7) it is about time that we replaced our outdated and inefficient school calendars. which best revises sentence 6 to create a more appropriate and respectful tone? a. although many still claim that evidence about year-round school and its link to higher achievement is inconclusive, studies consistently reveal that year-round students score higher on certain assessments than those students who attend schools with traditional nine-month calendars. b. although many still claim that evidence about year-round school and its link to higher achievement is inconclusive, this theory is wrong because students in year-round schools consistently score higher on certain assessments than those students who attend schools with traditional nine-month calendars. c. although many still claim that evidence about year-round school and its link to higher achievement is inconclusive, they would admit defeat if only they would do their research and find that students in year-round schools consistently score higher on certain assessments than those students who attend schools with traditional nine-month calendars. d. although many still claim that evidence about year-round school and its link to higher achievement is inconclusive, these people need to study their facts and acknowledge that students in year-round schools consistently score higher on certain assessments than those students who attend schools with traditional nine-month calendars.

Tone is very important when writing a persuasive paper. An insulting tone will not convince the reader and will even push the reader away.

In the original sentence, the phrase "these people need to open their eyes" comes across as a bit rude. It would be best to argue forcefully, yet politely. 

Now, let's look at the possible revisions to see which keeps the intended meaning while arguing respectfully.

A. Although many still claim that evidence about year-round school and its link to higher achievement is inconclusive, studies consistently reveal that year-round students score higher on certain assessments than those students who attend schools with traditional nine-month calendars. 

This is a good revision that is not disrespectful to anyone. Saying "studies consistently reveal" focuses on the studies, and not on people who believe otherwise. Doing so puts the focus on the issue where it belongs.

B. Although many still claim that evidence about year-round school and its link to higher achievement is inconclusive, this theory is wrong because students in year-round schools consistently score higher on certain assessments than those students who attend schools with traditional nine-month calendars. 

This revision is an improvement upon the original, but it is a bit clunky.

C. Although many still claim that evidence about year-round school and its link to higher achievement is inconclusive, they would admit defeat if only they would do their research and find that students in year-round schools consistently score higher on certain assessments than those students who attend schools with traditional nine-month calendars. 

This revision is both disrespectful and overly wordy. Writing "they would admit defeat if only they would do their research" implies that people who believe this theory are both stubborn and ignorant.

D. Although many still claim that evidence about year-round school and its link to higher achievement is inconclusive, these people need to study their facts and acknowledge that students in year-round schools consistently score higher on certain assessments than those students who attend schools with traditional nine-month calendars.

While this revision keeps the original meaning, the phrase "these people need to study their facts" is insulting and disrespectful. This revision would not be an improvement on the original.

Therefore, the best revision is A.

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