Compared to the dialogue that makes up most of the excerpt, which unfolds in real time, the paragraph below is fast paced, covering many events into a very short passage. Write your own version of this paragraph, revising the pacing so that it unfolds more slowly and describes the scene with more details. As you write, remember to: Flesh out scene the with effective word choice and vivid description. Maintain the style and tone that the author has established. Use a variety of phrases and dependent clauses to slow down the pacing and add details. A man’s voice beside her made her start and turn. She had noticed the speaker more than once amongst the first-class passengers. There had been a hint of mystery about him which had appealed to her imagination. He spoke to no one. If anyone spoke to him he was quick to rebuff the overture. Also he had a nervous way of looking over his shoulder with a swift, suspicious glance.