Please can someone grade this and tell me what to improve (I did the story) How bad could it be? It was just wind and water, right.

March 12th, 10 pm. No more than a few hours ago, the sky was a canvas painted hues of red, orange, and pink, but all the colour in the sky had faded, leaving only a matt canvas with no stars to observe. That is when told.

Earlier the pavements moved as great rivers of humanity. Earlier, the roads were rivers of cars. Earlier, there had been a blur of people speaking all at once. Earlier, the sun’s heat had overtaken us. Earlier, I had been safe here. Earlier, I would not have imagined this.

Throughout the night, the clouds began to spit mercilessly, depriving us of sleep as we tossed and turned. The wind whispered in our ears, hissing, and whistling. Suddenly, a bright flash illuminated the dark room, followed by a clap of thunder pulling our souls out of our bodies.

The wind screamed as if it were a banshee. Layers of pregnant clouds clung to the buildings threatening to burst. The trees flinched, the grass shivered,

The clouds were churlish and kraken-cruel. They coughed out great gouts of water and thunking balloons of sopping moisture. The rain began hammering down. A bone crushing cold scalded our skin like acid.

The brick walls that had formed my cacoons for years were now amongst a pile of rubble. I watched as the soldiers surrounding our city were ripped from their roots and thrown to the ground covered in debris.

Was it just wind and water? No..no.