Good evening. in trying to write a book and i would like to know if anyone has any comments or ideas for me. the images are a bit of what ive written.

Give more detail when describing things, sense, smell, thoughts, feelings. Write as if you are experiencing it yourself and not as if your someone else watching the main character yk? Here's an example. "Outside my bedroom window was a lush green garden with flowers of all colors, red, blue, purple, yellow. Every time I visited the garden I couldn't help but smell every single flower there. I would sit on my tan wooden stool every evening at precisely 3:30 pm. The stool only had 3 legs since one of them broke off during the summer but surely it was just enough for my comfort. I look through my window daydreaming about having a wedding with the love of my life one day knowing that I have yet to experience love itself.