Happy Holidays and Season Greetings!!
I need feedback on two scary stories me and my sis made!!
ENJOY!! (30 free points)

The Haunted Forest
Once upon a time there was a family, made up of two young ones and their parents, traveling by road to road. One day the car broke down in the forest. The parents went out to get help, and so the children would not get bored, they left them with the radio on. It turned night time and the parents still did not return. Then suddenly they heard the disturbing news go on in the radio: A very dangerous killer had escaped from a prison near the forest. Hours passed and the childrenś parents did not come back. Suddenly, they began to hear something really loud. ¨Bang, Bang, Bang¨. They heard that which seemed to come from something hitting the top of the car. Then, the sound became louder and louder every time. ¨BANG, BANG, BANG¨. The terrified children could no longer resist. They opened the door and ran in a hurry. Only the eldest of the children dared to turn his head to see what caused the loud noise. He should have not done it though, there was a large and scary man on top of the car, who hit the top of the vehicle with something on his hands, they were the heads of his parents! The children began to run even faster and the large man began to run towards them. The children ran into the forest and so did the large man. After that day no one ever saw those children ever again, and who knows, they may appear mysteriously next to you.

Ghost Man
Once upon a time there was a family, made up of two young ones and their parents. One day, the parents had to go out to do something important. They had to call someone to take care of their children, so they called a lady who was friends with them. Then the lady arrived and the parents left. She made sure the kids ate and then she put them on their bed to sleep. Their house had two floors and the kids were on the second floor upstairs. Then, she went to sit down on the couch and started to watch tv. She was watching tv when suddenly her phone rang, and she answered the phone. It was an unknown number. She answered it and a creepy voice said, “Have you gone to check on the kids?” When she heard that she automatically hung up. A few minutes later she heard it again, “Have you gone to check on the kids?”. She kept on hearing it for a few times until she started to be a little scared. She called the police as quickly as she could. She told the police that a man who was unknown kept calling her and threatening her. Then the police said that when that man calls again, he will try to locate the man that is calling her. Then the man called again and the police were able to locate the man. A few minutes later, the police called again and he said, “Get out of the house right now because the man that is calling you is on the second floor of your house”. Then the lady remembered that the kids were upstairs so she ran upstairs as fast as she could and it was too late, the kids were gone and there was blood all over their room. The kids were never seen again and lots of police men are still going to look out to find this mysterious man who is going out to get every person he sees. So be careful of what you do because you might hear their cries too.
Hope you like it!!