Read the two introductory paragraphs representing a first draft and a revision of a narrative about making a
difficult choice.
What types of descriptive language strengthen the
revision?
First Draft: Last week, I won two tickets to see the
hottest band in the country perform. I will never forget
the anticipation I felt waiting to find out if I was the lucky
caller. The only problem was that I would have to
choose who to go with me: Jackie or Sharon.
O hyperbole and figurative language
O sensory details and precise adjectives
O simile and figurative language
O metaphor and strong verbs
Revision: Last week, I won two tickets to see the
hottest band in the country perform. I was on pins and
needles as I hung on the line, dying to see if I was the
lucky caller. The only problem was that I would be
forced to make a choice between my two best friends.
Should I invite Jackie or Sharon?

Magnesium is the fourth most abundant mineral in the body and is essential to good health. magnesium is needed for more than 300 biochemical reactions in the body. it maintain normal muscle and nerve function, keep bones strong, keep one’s heart rhythm steady, and supports a healthy immune system. magnesium also regulate blood sugar levels, promotes normal blood pressure, and may play a role in energy metabolism and protein synthesis. doctors and scientists are trying to determine whether magnesium may play a role in preventing and managing disorders such as hypertension, cardiovascular disease, and diabetes. which is the main idea of this paragraph? a. the role of magnesium in human nutrition is being studied intensely. b. magnesium may be related to the body’s metabolism and other healthy functions. c. magnesium appears to contribute to hypertension, cardiovascular disease, and diabetes. d. magnesium and a healthy immune system are separate diseases.

Which traits are strongest in your persuasive essay: ideas, organization, voice, word choice, sentence fluency, or conventions?

Review the theme beauty exists within each person which line from beauty best communicates this theme