Select the ONE word from each of the ‘stations’ that you feel you understand the best. List each and then thoroughly explain why the definition is SATIRIC. Be specific in your answer! STATION 1

Abnormal (adj): Not conforming to standard. If by doing so others follow, you are a success; if not, you are abnormal and generally shunned.

Bore (n): A person who talks when you wish him to listen.

Cat (n): A soft indestructible automaton provided by Nature to be kicked when things go wrong in the domestic circle.

STATION 2

Christian (n): One who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book only suited to solve the many failings of his or her neighbor. One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with his or her own life of sin.

Congratulation (n): The polite expression of envy.

Dance (v): To leap about to the sound of tittering music, preferably with arms about your neighbor's wife or daughter. The act is primary to create a seemingly innocent display for less publicly appropriate actions.

STATION 3

Debt (n): An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slave-driver.

Dentist (n): A magician who, putting metal into your mouth, pulls coins out of your pocket.

Dictionary (n): A harmful literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inflexible. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.

STATION 4

Education (n): That which shows to the wise, and disguises from the foolish, their lack of understanding.

Friendship (n): A ship big enough to carry two in fair weather, but only one in foul.

Future (n): That period of time in which our affairs prosper, our friends are true and our happiness is assured.

STATION 5

Idiot (n): A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling.

Logic (n): The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.

Love (n): A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

STATION 6

Marriage (n): The state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress and two slaves, making in all, two people.

Patience (n): A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

Philosophy (n): A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.

STATION 7

Pray (v): To ask that the laws of the universe change on behalf of a single needy person who is confessedly unworthy.

Religion (n): A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.

Telephone (n): An invention of the devil which takes away the advantages of a disagreeable person living at a distance.

STATION 8

Truthful (adj): Dumb and illiterate.

Vote (n): The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

Zeal (n): A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced.