Can someone PLEEAASE read over my essay and correct me if anything is wrong??? (This is worth 30 of my points so please answer if you will ACTUALLY help me)

Explanation:

Page 1:

Try not to use got. So instead of "got selected" use "was selected."

I've read "The Giver" so I know the story, and who Gabriel is, but your reader may not, you don't explain on page 1, and you should.

Page 2:

Lower case "eleven"

Also, "stirrings" aren't the same as being released, or a reason to be released. There is a disconnect there.

Also, it would be nurturer of the baby. You're missing an r.

Page 4:

The baby could not choose between being released or not.

Page 5:

Don't start a sentence with "And"  you've done it twice.

You're missing the end, it's cut off. I don't know your grade, but good work.

- "d.)  describe the iroquois belief of how the earth was created. for the iroquois, there was no reason to explain the importance of rituals. also, as animists, they didn't need a special elaboration as to why animals are important or why they had a crucial role in the earth's creation. this is just an authentic myth that explains the creation of the earth. every culture has produced creation myths."