Crunch Rocks Cereal Advertisement Hey kids! I want to tell you about a new cereal straight from the rock piles of Georgia called “Crunch Rocks.” This cereal is crushed by the greasy care of sweaty, sledge-hammering Georgia miners. Each solid stone is carefully selected by the best-behaving criminals in the state and then pulverized into tiny kernels of gravel-like goodness to fill your cereal bowl. With “Crunch Rocks,” you don’t have to worry about cavities because you won’t have any teeth! The rock pebbles of Crunch of Rocks will destroy them so you have nothing left in your mouth but bleeding gums. You won’t have to waste your time morning and night brushing and flossing, or ever smile for the camera again. “Crunch of Rocks” is filled with tasty, hard center of delicious fiber and iron. Its multi-mineral composition will rough up your esophagus and then tear through your intestines. While Georgia isn’t the Sunshine State, the rocks in “Crunch Rocks” have spent centuries baking in the sunlight and are a great source of Vitamin D. Be sure to place “Crunch Rocks” at the bottom of your grocery bad so it doesn’t smash your eggs and bread. “Crunch Rocks” can also be sued to line your fishbowl or fill potholes in your driveway. Because this piece is satire, the author is also: a. Criticizing someone or something b. Addressing the dangers of altering the shape and size of rocks c. Encouraging other food companies to use the ingredients from nature d. Praising the manufacturers of “Crunch Rocks” for their creative recipe