The following is a sample thesis. The underlined portion needs revision and clarity. Revise to strengthen the claim being presented. Consumers are easily fooled by advertisements because they always want more stuff and are willing to pay for it.

The consumers mind can easily be manipulated by using  advertising techniques

Explanation:

The answer to the question is given below

Since the portion is not underlined, however the part which says “easily fooled” which is referred to the customers is unprofessional instead of this we can write the "The consumers mind can easily be manipulated by using  advertising techniques."

The statement above is more formal and is professional.

roses are red,

violets are black,

for what you said,

i hope you sit on a big fat tack.

- the heat nearly killed them that first summer.