Read the sentence. Which revision best uses dialogue to improve the
sentence?
I told them how surprised and excited I was to have my
painting selected, especially since I'd felt so incompetent
at the beginning and I knew the competition was so
ruthless
O "Yup, it was a big surprise," I told them. "I'm excited
that my painting was selected! Especially since I felt so
incompetent at the beginning and the competition was
so ruthless."
O "Honestly, I was surprised," I told them truthfully. "The
competition was ruthless, and I felt incompetent at the
beginning. It's really exciting to have my painting
selected!
O "I'm in! My painting is in! I feel a fist pump and a little
dance coming on," I said, grinning. I thought about how
I felt so incompetent at the beginning because of the
ruthless competition.
O "Did you hear?" I asked them. "My painting got
selected! Exciting, right?" I smiled. "Especially given
that I felt so incompetent at the beginning and that the