What is the tone for this : elsewhere have carried on that tradition from their days on
Earth. They are ready to have their credit accounts opened,
for their spending to be tracked, to get started in their lifelong
loyalty rewards programs. Especially those humans who are
rich enough to be tourists coming back here to Earth.
Eventually one of us realized that the most popular part of
the museum was the escalator ride. Although you would think
interstellar

travel would have sort of raised the bar on what
was needed to impress people, there was just something about
moving diagonally that seemed to amuse the tourists, both
kids and adults, and then one of us finally woke up and said,
well, why not give them what they want?
So we did some research, in the few books we had left, and
on the computer, and the research confirmed our hypothesis:
Humans love rides.
So Earth: The Museum was shuttered for several years
while we reinvented ourselves and developed merchandise and
attractions, all of the things we were naturally good at, and
after another good long while, we finally were able to reopen
as Earth: The Theme Park and Gift Shop, which did okay but
it was not too long before we realized the theme park part of
it was expensive to operate and kind of a hassle, really, as our
engineering was not so good and we kept making people sick
or, in a few cases, really misjudging g-forces,3

and word got
out among the travel agencies that Earth: The Theme Park
and Gift Shop was not so fun and actually quite dangerous, so
we really had no choice but to drop the theme park part and
that is how we became Earth: The Gift Shop.
Which was all anyone ever wanted anyway. To get a
souvenir to take home.
We do have some great souvenirs.