I need to know how this sounds before I give it to my teacher.
any advice is accepted and please be truthful. I'll give brainliest to the best advice.

Rollercoaster

I need a place to go,
Who old you the place opposite of heaven ain’t got snow,
It’s got snow of ashes and pain,
The pain of people whose tears feel like rain.
The ashes keep rising up,
The flames grow higher up.
That’s how I feel on a daily basis,
I don’t have flowers, but I have plenty of empty vases.
I look around and all I see is sad faces,
It’s normal, that what I see on a daily basis.

Thoughts of killing myself keep crossing my mind.
I can’t keep playing this search and find!

I don’t understand you can see me,
But you can’t hear me?
That sounds right about right.
I’m asking you to help me with this fight.
But again you can’t hear my cry,
Even though I yell at the top of my lungs, WHY!

Now you see,
NF inspired me.
He taught me I should be real
And tell people how I feel.
I don’t eat a single meal
And I don’t let my past heal.
Now that’s real!
I was told not to go too deep,
But if I don’t I’ll never sleep.

You don’t control me,
To me your nothing but a flea.
Talk to the back of my hand,
And hit you with a rubber band.

Call me a liar call me a stealer
Even when I’m not
I’ll become it plus a drug dealer
And I’ll become the hotshot.
I’ll become famous, you’ll see
But don’t be coming to get some money from me
You said it wasn’t going to be
I’ll prove you wrong cause’ this is my everything

This is my escape from life
This is my escape from using the knife
If you take it away from me
Don’t expect me to show up with glee.

I’m the only one with the key
The key to unlock me.
You’ll never get it
It’s because it is something I can only hand you
because I don't know what you'll do with it
And I haven’t found the person to give it to.
I would only give it to my true love
And the love can soar above

Why are you laughing and trying
Trying to make me mad
A…. You just wish I was something you had
Honey, I have a gold lining and your dying
For every time I walk in the room you have to stare
You have to stare at my natural flair.

Hold up,
Why are you talking like that again?
And when I walk over, play it cool and say sup.
You go back and forth like a fish fin

Going in the deep end of the ocean sea
Babe don’t do this to me!

This has no specific topic
Look at all the words and chose your top pick

If you’re gonna pout
Get out.
Don’t tell me to let go of the past
I’ll pass.
The past made me who I am
I not going to be controlled, not even by fam.

Because I truly loved you
I let you go to someone new.
Even though it hurt me
Things like this happen sadly.
I yearn for one more kiss
Your someone I’ll surely miss.
I can truly say I love you
can you?

Please tell me I’m not alone
Please just call my phone!
On my side, the grass isn’t green
I’m not an ordinary teen.

I’m not gonna lie
It’s time to say goodbye
Next time don’t think I’m shy
And I won’t question myself like why!