Carina loved running, and she loved winning too. She was the captain and star athlete of her track and field team. Although Carina wasn’t an excellent runner when she first joined the team two years earlier, she practiced all the time and soon began to win almost every race in which she competed. Carina was doing so well that she thought she might become the winningest track and field athlete in her school’s history!

2One afternoon at track practice, Coach Winder nabbed everyone’s attention to introduce a new athlete. “This is Roberto," he said. "He just transferred to our school from Greensboro Middle School. Please welcome Roberto to the team!”

3The members of the team clapped and jostled each other as they tried to shake Roberto’s hand. As the team captain, Carina shook Roberto’s hand first. She introduced herself and told Roberto that she was excited to have another team member. Roberto told Carina that he had been reluctant about joining the team, but Carina assured him that he would have a marvelous time.

4The next day, the members of the track team stretched before running some sprints. Carina told Roberto that he could race with her. “Don’t worry,” she said. “I’ll go easy on you because it’s your first practice.”

5Carina and Roberto lined up at the starting blocks. When they heard the CRACK of the starting pistol, Roberto and Carina started. After a short distance, Carina realized that Roberto was no longer beside her. She turned to see how far behind he had fallen, but to her amazement, Roberto was not behind her. She looked up and saw Roberto surging ahead. His feet moved as fast as lightning! When Carina realized that she was about to lose, she ran as vigorously as she could; however, it wasn’t enough. Roberto triumphed. Carina seemed almost paralyzed with shock, but she managed to smile and congratulate him.

6Over the next few weeks, Roberto became a phenomenon on the track. No matter how hard Carina trained, she could never beat Roberto.

7One evening after a track meet, Carina was desolate. Roberto had won first place, and Carina had come in third! She considered hanging up her running shoes and quitting the team. Just as she was about to call Coach Winder, her father entered the living room. Carina explained her situation to him.

8“If winning is so important to you that you can’t merely have fun being a member of the team,” said Carina’s father, “then I guess quitting is your only option. But, before you make your decision, think about why you originally joined the team.”

9The next day, Carina walked into Coach Winder’s office and handed him a slip of paper. Coach Winder’s eyes widened as he read it. Then, he closed the note and shook his head approvingly.

11“That’s right,” Carina said with a smile, “I’d like Roberto to serve as co-captain of the team.” Why does Carina decide to remain on the track team? A) She knows that she can defeat Roberto. B) She takes third place during a track meet. C) She recalls why she first joined the team. D) She is best runner on the whole track team.

i have learned a great many things from participating in varsity football. it has changed my entire outlook on and attitude toward life. before my freshman year at [high-school], i was shy, had low self-esteem and turned away from seemingly impossible challenges. football has altered all of these qualities. on the first day of freshman practice, the team warmed up with a game of touch football. the players were split up and the game began. however, during the game, i noticed that i didn't run as hard as i could, nor did i try to evade my defender and get open. the fact of the matter is that i really did not want to be thrown the ball. i didn't want to be the one at fault if i dropped the ball and the play didn't succeed. i did not want the responsibility of the team because i was too afraid of making a mistake. that aspect of my character led the first years of my high school life. i refrained from asking questions in class, afraid they might be considered too stupid or dumb by my classmates. all the while, i went to practice and everyday, i went home physically and mentally exhausted.

yet my apprehension prevailed as i continued to fear getting put in the game in case another player was injured. i was still afraid of making mistakes and getting blamed by screaming coaches and angry teammates. sometimes these fears came true. during my sophomore season, my position at backup guard led me to play in the varsity games on many occasions. on such occasions, i often made mistakes. most of the time the mistakes were not significant; they rarely changed the outcome of a play. yet i received a thorough verbal lashing at practice for the mistakes i had made. these occurrences only compounded my fears of playing. however, i did not always make mistakes. sometimes i made great plays, for which i was congratulated. now, as i dawn on my senior year of football and am faced with two starting positions, i feel like a changed person.

over the years, playing football has taught me what it takes to succeed. from months of tough practices, i have gained a hard work ethic. from my coaches and fellow teammates, i have learned to work well with others in a group, as it is necessary to cooperate with teammates on the playing field. but most important, i have also gained self-confidence. if i fail, it doesn't matter if they mock or ridicule me; i'll just try again and do it better. i realize that it is necessary to risk failure in order to gain success. the coaches have always said before games that nothing is impossible; i know that now. now, i welcome the challenge. whether i succeed or fail is irrelevant; it is only important that i have tried and tested myself.

the topic of this essay is how the applicant has matured and changed since his freshman year. he focuses on football. one of the strengths of this essay is that it is well organized. the applicant clearly put time into the structure and planning of this essay. he uses the platform of football to discuss and demonstrate his personal growth and development through the high school years. what he could have done better was spend more time describing himself after he made improvements. as it is, he only tells us about his newfound confidence and drive. this essay would have been stronger had he actually shown us, perhaps by including a story or describing an event where his confidence made a difference

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