Read the passage from when birds get the flu and cows
go mad by john diconsiglio.
hughes and other investigators from the fda began tracking
the cow's parts through washington, oregon, and idaho. for
32 days, they drove along icy roads in the middle of the
night. they logged thousands of miles and battled fierce
snowstorms. they slept in little motels and ate at truck
stops. some trudged through muddy farms and feed mills.
tough carcasses in slaughterhouses. some
pulled bad burgers from grocery store shelves. at night, they
talked on the phone and compared the day's results.
the writer could best revise this passage to make it stronger by
adding a claim about the dangers of travel.
adding a thesis to introduce the topic of cows.
adding a quotation from hughes about the events.
adding a summary of the details using different words.