can and not:
why do people hurt even more when they heal?
get distracted by white space,
break me even when i cannot feel,

my head scrambled in thoughts,
and none of them real,
turn me off and and conceal,
the things i cannot feel.

act so proud but they do not know,
my imagination of colorless hearts,
and others standing in rows,
even though i cannot feel,

i distract myself with the things that are real,
cause the fakness of the people around me,
not excepting the people that i'd prefer,
for example a girl liking a girl,

but you said that you liked him.
the cover up doesn't work anymore,
and you’re tired of not being able to do it,
tell people that you're not like them,

even when it may hurt,
and the acceptance of yourself,
not caring about what they think,
takes the 'not' from 'can',

so you can tell you’re real from fake thoughts,
the ones shoved in your head by the people who doubted you,
and your ability to live your life,
but in the end they work for you,

and your mind is a blank slate from what people think,
and what they might,
my head is still scrambled in my thoughts,
but this time they're real,

when i think about him and me,
and how we truly feel,
because i’m done hiding in this closet,
and being backed up until i can’t breathe,

and this time i don't run or fall to my feet,
but i stand, and the blood comes back to my face,
i ask them ' who would like to take my place,
because i’m tired of sitting in this closet,

with no space to breath,
and this time i tell you, i’m already free,
and when they see that what i say is real,
they fall to 'their' knees.'

i don't know what to do,
but without this weight on my shoulders,
and this boulder in my stomach,
i walk forward and i feel i could have done it before.