Instead of saying “2 in 5 people claim to hate themselves,” how can i rephrase it to sound less aggressive and insensitive as if i were saying i didn’t believe people who made these ‘claims?

you can change it to say 3 in 5 people have wouldnt claim to hait themselves. it causes the person to focus on that part more but still concider the 2 out of 5. or you can say how less then half of people would say they hate themselves. 40% is less than half

the sentence that avoid faulty coordination is:

culture, which is well represented in philadelphia, plays a major role including theatre, music, and the visual arts.  

faulty coordination occurs when the writer gives equal importance two different ideas (clauses) which in fact are not equivalent. in order to correct a misplaced clause or idea, the writer can place less important or emphatic ideas in a relative clause as in the previous sentence.  

osaka, a gorgeous place to live, extraordinary sights, and a wonderful place to visit for vacation. watching nature change there it is a lovely experience i would like.

explanation:

i ain't gonna write your whole essay for you at least you have a starter

sorry i ain't gonna do the whole assignment for your class or whatever