Commander mckee checked the dials and switches in the shuttle cockpit and determined that they were functioning
normally. he then tested the communications systems that connected his ship with the mission control headquarters. he
checked the fuel gauges and saw that there was enough fuel for the months-long trip to saturn. all of the other gauges and
meters checked out normal, and the idling engines gave off a strong, reassuring hum. after a final glance around, mckee
declared that the shuttle was finally ready for takeoff. he readied the brave astronauts under his command and the ground
crew alertly awaiting the launch. the rocket took off and, racing through space, eventually arrived at saturn, where
commander mckee and his assistants built the first successful human colony.
126 words, 9.8 flesch, 1180 lexile
how could a change in emphasis best develop the events in this passage, making for a more interesting and exciting read?

Read the excerpt from the land. in the late afternoon i did the same, but all the time i was on the stallion, i was aware that mitchell was watching me. he had appeared on the edge of the woods and had just stood there watching ghost wind and me as we went round and round the meadow. finally, on one of our turns past him, he said: "s'pose you thinkin' you a real somebody 'cause you can ride that stallion." i looked down at mitchell and stopped, knowing that despite our understanding, he was itching for a fight with me. now, i don't know what possessed me in that moment to say the next thing i did. maybe i was feeling guilty that because i was my daddy's son, i could ride ghost wind. maybe it was that, but it wasn't out of fear i said what i said. i no longer was afraid of mitchell. "you want to ride him? " i asked. mitchell took a step backward. it was obvious he hadn't expected me to say that. "you know i can't ride him," he said. "your white daddy'd kill me." "you want to ride him? " i asked again. mitchell looked at the stallion, then at me. "so, what if i do? " what intrinsic motivation does the author most likely intend the reader to infer from the passage? paul is motivated by his need to have mitchell praise his riding skills. mitchell is motivated by his need to have paul praise his riding skills. paul is motivated by jealousy and wishes he had free time like mitchell. mitchell is motivated by jealousy and wishes he could ride the horse.