Read this sentence from a sample cover letter.

when i saw how much this position paid, i knew that i needed to get this job!

what is the weakness in this sentence?

The fact that they are alluding to the fact that the only reason they want the job is because of how much it pays is what makes this sentence weak. People who are recruiting want someone who want the job because they enjoy the service, someone who will work hard even if they find a job with better pay.

I don't know if you have options to choose from, but when speaking or writing to an employer you should never discuss pay. You shouldn't even ask what you will make during an interview. Employers don't want you to be in it just for the money, they need to know that you personally want the job and that you will work hard regardless of pay.

Hope this helps :)

Explanation

because he is using a description to provide evidence to support his argument.

hope this could

may i you with anything?