Why can the mass of beta particles be ignored in nuclear reactions?

Because their mass is so low that it doesn't really matter to us.

The problem here is that according to aufbau principle before 3d orbital 4s subshell comes.after filling 3p orbital with electrons you have 4 electrons left, you place two in 4s with opposite spin and the other two in 3d in any of its two orbitals of total five orbitals with the same spin.