If you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you're a total hero. But donate five and suddenly everyone is yelling. Sheesh! "Just say NO to drugs!" Well, If I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes.

"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, If I'm talking to my drugs, I probably already said yes.

"I have good and bad news," the doctor said to his patient. "Give me the good news first," the patient said. "Your test results are back," the doctor said, "and you have only two days to live." "That's the good news?" the patient exclaimed. "What's the bad news?" "I've been trying to reach you for two days."