Monologue/poem/i du nno i write this in a rush
i write it quick and fast because i need to get it out of me
I'm si ck and tired. i feel like i cant breath. i want to cr. y, but i want to seem strong. my sister always asks, "are you ok", i always say "I'm FINE. leave me alone"
but today
today i want her to ask
but i also don't
i know that if she does, i might cry.
i hate co vid and i ha te being stuck where i am
i know that everyone else does, but i have my own reason:
bickering and att itude and anger and so much neg. a.tivity. my mom telling dad, "i wanna div orce you"
i know i should feel bad
but
WHY AM I OK WITH IT?
WHY AM I SO AN GRY AND WHY DO I FEEL UNLIKE MYSELF
HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT I
THE OPTIMISTIC, STRONG, SOMEONE WHO CANT BE AN GRY FOR MORE THAN A MINUTE
WHY AM I SO AN GRY
AT MY MOTHER

because
she wont listen
she acts like she doesn't care
she. . .
there is so much she could change
but she is un willing
but on the other hand is my dad
he tries
and tries
and tries
he forgives
he is patients
he communicates
he tries
and my mother still won't acknowledge that
she won't hear the truth

i don't want to pick sides
but it feels like i have to

"she is always so happy"
"nothing ever gets to her"
"i don't think I've ever seen her cry"
i cant let anyone know whats inside
i cant disap point others
don't cry
smile
say "it will be ok"
but will it?
you've never felt this way. . .
no one needs to know tho
its ok
just hide it

its going to be ok
but why doesn't it feel that way. . .?